How to stop self-defeating beliefs?

Many people would not recognize what Self-defeating beliefs are, they won’t even understand that these beliefs are much more than just insecurity. The counter-opposite of the term self-belief is self-defeating beliefs. These beliefs don’t only hinder our personal and professional growth but to some extent, it affects us physically. It gets rooted in our mindset so strongly that we often have difficulties to understand our own potential.

Before I start pointing out the ways you can use to stop the self-limiting beliefs I want to address that I am not any counselor or therapist. I am just a simple human who had similar beliefs some time ago. That’s why this topic is like home to me and I thought sharing my thoughts with you can help you navigate your issue and can guide you to seek help if needed.

Know self-defeating beliefs

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We human has on average more than 6000 thoughts per day, read it here, one minute we are super productive and the next minute we have to drag ourselves out of bed. We can’t keep ourselves productive all the time so please don’t fall in the loop of toxic productivity.

Self-defeating belief means you are yourself trying to hinder your growth by having disempowering thoughts about yourself and your surroundings. It overpowers your thinking and forces you to think all negative and disheartening things for yourself.

Common Self-defeating beliefs

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After going through some articles and from personal experience I have listed some common negative beliefs.

1. Feeling Unaccomplished
2. Procrastination
3. Feeling like you are always wrong.
4. Feeling you are unlovable.
5. Negative self-talk.

And many others…

How can we stop it?

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The only way to stop self-defeating or self-limiting beliefs is by not thinking negatively about yourself. But how can we do that? I have discussed some ways below:-

1. If you are Feeling Unaccomplished

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• Let me tell you something as humans we all have some goals in our lives. We all crave something ordinary and something extraordinary in our lives. 
• We can’t decide the timeframe for it. Yes, we definitely can work hard towards it but the last 1% is always in the hands of luck.
• You have to first understand what is an accomplishment for you ? is it a dream job, a car, a home, or a partner?
• Now whatever is accomplishment for you start working towards it.
• Always remember there is no limit to achieving anything.
• You can always do one thing after another and never feel happy about what you have achieved or you can choose just to be happy doing it.
• Don’t compare yourself with your surroundings.
• You do what suits you, small or big, it doesn’t matter. (I firmly believe in this)

2. Killing Procrastination

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•  There would be a morning when you get up and decide today is not your day. What will you do? Go back to sleep yes? No 
• Don’t do that. See that’s true we humans tend to be the sun and moon at the same time. But we can still make our day good or normal.
• Why does every day have to be the best day? It doesn’t have to be that way, some would be days when you just finish the work or someday you just write one line of code the whole day.
• Showing Up matters, even though you don’t want to show up, just be there, write one line there is the possibility one line will lead to the next and next and next.

3. Don’t believe your mind every time

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•  What you think might not be true, have you wondered that? 
• You might think that whatever effort you are putting is not at all benefiting but remember there is someone out there who is inspired by you.

As I read here, Forbes, “Honesty is Transparent but the Truth is objective”.

4. Don’t look at the result first

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• I know the world is moving fast and we are always rushing to match up, but take a breath and bring yourself to start first.
• Stop fixating your mind on the result instead shift your mindset to focus on the journey and steps you need to take.
• Practice breaking your tasks or any projects into smaller sprints, it would give you a way to check on what is working for you and what is not.

5. Ask for help

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• Understanding that not knowing much is not a crime, will take you lots of success because that gives lots of space to learn and make mistakes and ask for help and learn. Everyone has areas where they may struggle or lack expertise. 
• Try to check people’s social profiles whose words inspire you. Reach out to these people, ask for help, and be clear with them about what help you need from them.
• We are social people we need one- another to grow emotionally and professionally. We need our family, friends, colleagues so include them in your network.

Parting Notes

Always remember one thing no matter what happens in life there is always a solution to our problems. Yes I agree there are times when we don’t get the desired solution but we always have some way, some hope.

If you ever feel like you can not control your negative thoughts at all and you need help, always and always please reach out to the nearest counselor or therapist or to anyone who can take you to them. They have lots of measures and steps which will help you get better and understand better. They are specially trained for this so trust them.

Above everything you matter the most, the most.