Check these 4 reminders to help in your healing journey.
Over the past few months, I have come across lots of articles about the Healing process and Self-love. I realized I too have my little journey out of depression through anxiety and am still somewhere but I am winning every day.
In 2020 I fell into depression. Reasons? In my understanding, there is no particular reason to fall into one but definitely, there are incidents, accidents, suppressions, failure, insecurities, etc.
- It was a constant failure in my career.
- Never feeling good enough for people.
- Constant feeling of not knowing anything.
- Broken Trust and faith.
- Some Traumas from childhood that i just wanted to forget.
Every little which I usually could walk away from easily this time held me tightly. I don’t remember when everything started messing me up. After being my own little mess, I started my healing journey. So what exactly happened that made me realize the importance of life and more than the importance of myself?
“Acceptance is the first key to healing.”
1. You are not responsible for everything
There are two types of people in the world. One who thinks everything going wrong is their mistake and another one who is good at blaming others for their mistake. So the latter rarely need a healing journey( but they should). I have been the former one, and god it’s so exhausting.
Please stop blaming yourself every time something happens. If something went wrong in your relationship, friendship, or even in your workplace, maybe you were not the one responsible. People often say don’t expect much from people around you even from your loved one. I was quite the opposite, I used to feel that if someone was close to me they should know how I felt and what was wrong and right in my life. Eventually what I thought would keep me closer to my people were reasons they were irritated with me.
Honestly, the best I can suggest is to confront people whom you have hurt and forgive yourself. But if you know deep down that it’s not your mistake then forgive yourself first. The thing is you can’t make everyone happy, sorry for the word but it’s not your responsibility every time to fix things up. So sometimes let it be.
2. Routined Life
I know to sleep late or no sleep will be one of the symptoms of depression and anxiety. But for this, I would ask you to even if it’s needed, force yourself to have a routine life, I used to be the same person. I never had a routine, laying in bed and binge-watching series, earning to eating not-so-healthy food, and then never cleaning the trash was my everyday living.
What made me come out of it?
I wanted to eat KFC chicken popcorn one night after returning from the office, when I was about to order I saw I had Rs 1640 in my account and it was not even mid of a month. Then where did my money go??? To the KFC bank every day.
Yes, my trash(that I never put in the kitchen dustbin) was piled upon one another full of KFC packages only. Every day I was ordering when I wasn’t earning much. But it was not limited to the ordering it was about the trash I created around me and the money in my account. I literally sat on the floor(just like in the movie) and started to cry. Felt so low about myself, what have I become? Am I really not worth KFC chickens? Why I am earning such a low amount??
Everything flashed in front of my eyes in just one go. I was ashamed of myself I didn’t even tell anyone how unhygienic life I was living. (I am a very hygienic person in general, so it was quite depressing for me). I got up the next day and told myself if I couldn’t take care of myself, there was no point in living like this. I can take some days off and look after myself. And yes I did that.
I took the first step. As I was not satisfied with my job, I quit in around 1 week or so. I came to my hometown to take a break and until I could start working again ( Yeah, that didn’t work out I am still jobless, and no one is giving me a job tsk!!).
Yes, people thought it was my worst decision but in reality, it was the best decision. My mom and dad helped me a lot to have a routine life and the best thing they did was to give me space to make these little changes at my own pace. Yes, it’s true try to make a routine that includes 3-time meals sleeping, and taking a bath.
3. Finding Hobbies
I always tell my mom that if people would not forget about their hobbies while growing up it will save them from much mental distress. You have to accept the fact that adulting is hard, if you think you are the slow one believe me everyone is thinking like that. The world has suddenly changed a lot, and maybe we were unprepared for it. But that’s okay here we are and we are going to walk these steps together.
If you have a hobby that you haven’t given up on yet then it’s well and good. Keep doing what you are doing.
If you haven’t found your hobby yet or if you have forgotten yours, no worries I am gonna help you find them.
- Note down everything around you that you like the most. For eg. a TV series you like the most.
- Now imagine what you can do with it if a chance is given to you. If writing comes to your mind then write about it. Anything like a review, a gist of how that series is, or the proper ending that you thought would have the best ending.
- If you feel, you love its music, then try to play the same tune. If you have any musical instrument good then pick it up or if you wanna buy then buy a new one and you won’t regret it. If you don’t wanna buy it then install the free app for instruments on your phone and then play it.
- If you see the poster of that series and you didn’t like it you can re-design it and put it on social media or just keep to yourself.
Starting with hobbies is not that easy I understand that, cause when you are depressed it takes lots of strength than usual to start with something. Hoping that you are already in talks with your therapist I am gonna say that sometimes you have to start with just one letter, one word of song, and one beat on the musical instrument. I used to tell myself and I still tell myself every day that I am worth good things and if I am not I am gonna make good things.
4. Meditate Meditate Meditate
Meditation helps in the healing process. I can assure you that(you can read here the challenge myself to do 30-day meditation). Healing from anything is a long and tough journey and honestly, we need help from ourselves and others as well. For me, there was no good time to start meditation I guess, cause I was procrastinating all the time. I learned meditation from the “Headspace” app and one random day did my first meditation. I felt so relaxed after that I couldn’t express myself in words but remember Meditation is a slow process and an everyday process. (read more about meditation here)
These are some quick reminders to know why should not give up on the healing process and ways you can help yourself. It has helped me to a long extent and I want you to try it and have patience with it.